BREAKING Nguyenning scores 185.12, beats The McGriddle Stack by 100 and sits alone in first at 6–2 · Full story →

All Gas, No Drakes: The Autopsy of a Dynasty That Dropped Its Own Quarterback

Courtney Stevens's team is named after a pun, her season is named after a collapse, and the quarterback she dropped just scored 24.96 for someone else. Four straight losses and counting. A work of satire.

By Diane Fourthdown, Investigative Reporter · Nov 3, 2026

Latest Headlines

FRONT OFFICE REPORT

All Gas, No Drakes: The Autopsy of a Dynasty That Dropped Its Own Quarterback

Diane Fourthdown · Nov 3

BREAKING NEWS

Week 8 Takeaways: Burrow Scores 48, Brett Disappears

Chip McSpreadsheet · Nov 3

THE HOT SEAT

The McGriddle Stack Scores 84.90, Brett Pinholster Seen Wandering the Parking Lot of a Closed Waffle House

Franklin Burke · Nov 3

LEAGUE AFTER DARK

The Sober Club Is Dead: Brett and Jeff Finally Join the League

Diane Fourthdown · Nov 3

Week 8 Scoreboard

Full Recap →

NGY

Nguyenning

A. Nguyen

185.12

MGS

The McGriddle Stack

B. Pinholster

84.90

JJL

Javaris Jamarr Javarison-Lamar

S. Liao

151.30

CLP

Chasing Last Place

J. Marsicano

85.50

RFS

Rashee-d For Speed

C. Stevens

154.98

ACR

Achane Reaction

T. Dapontes

100.76

DSB

Dart Side of The Beer Mile

T. Darrell

119.72

SAC

Sacrificial Lamb

A. Costanzi

87.00

DBA

Dakstreets Back, Alright!

A. Wendt

132.80

AGD

All Gas No Drakes

C. Stevens

111.30

BTM

Bass To Mouth

C. Acevedo

106.96

MDG

Myers Diggs Type GFYS

C. Slagh

99.12

Standings

Full Table →

Rk	Team	Owner	Rec	PF
1	Nguyenning	A. Nguyen	6-2	1141.96
2	Javaris Jamarr Javarison-Lamar	S. Liao	5-3	1101.74
3	Rashee-d For Speed	C. Stevens	5-3	1006.30
4	The McGriddle Stack	B. Pinholster	5-3	921.28
5	Bass To Mouth	C. Acevedo	4-4	996.96

Power Rankings

Full Rankings →

Dart Side of The Beer Mile at Bass To Mouth

119.2 – 128.2

Myers Diggs Type GFYS at Dakstreets Back, Alright!

127.5 – 112.9

Sacrificial Lamb at Nguyenning

121.0 – 144.6

All Gas No Drakes at Chasing Last Place

119.7 – 121.3

The McGriddle Stack at Achane Reaction

122.2 – 112.5

Javaris Jamarr Javarison-Lamar at Rashee-d For Speed

124.8 – 126.4

League Rumors & Trade Reports

SATIRE

Sources close to the Achane Reaction front office indicate Tony Dapontes is "open to offers" on his entire bench, provided the offer includes a top-12 overall player and a sincere apology for past slights.

SATIRE

Multiple league sources, none of whom agreed to speak on the record or off it, suggest Alan Costanzi has stopped proposing trades entirely and has instead accepted his fate as a historical case study.

SATIRE

League insiders report that Stephen Liao has drafted, but not sent, 14 separate trade proposals this season, all of which require the other team to send more and receive less.